The Adventure continues...
Jul. 18th, 2009 03:47 amPlease click and view our eggs and hatchlings. I do the same for you. Thanks.
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Our hatchlings:
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The next day, I was never left alone for even a minute. Not even when I wanted to use the privy. I suppose they were right. I wasn’t to be trusted. Thinking about it rationally, I must have imagined Donal’s presence in the studio. I began to wonder about myself and what was real and what was imagined. I didn’t want to become lost in my own world. I wanted to live life, not drift though it. But at the same time, I couldn’t see how I could move on without Donal by my side.
Ellyn and Mahli dressed me in another black dress, similar to the one from yesterday, but with a lower, sweetheart neckline, which made me somewhat uncomfortable. It also had no tippets. But I didn’t complain or raise a fuss. I had no energy to do so. Ellyn wanted to put a little rouge on my cheeks and powder on my face to cover my red puffiness, but it looked so awful that she washed it off when I asked her to do so. They did my hair up in the black hair net again.
Ellyn, afterwards, walked with me to the dining room, where the family was gathered for breakfast. I could feel all their eyes on me. I wanted the ground to open up underneath me and cover me up. I hated being stared at.
I was seated, this time, between Piatrus and Uncle Haral. Haral was looking his calm, collected self. Piatrus looked locked up and impassive, but I noticed that his eyes betrayed him. I could tell that underneath his granite exterior were pent up emotions that he tried to keep under control. I gave his hand a sympathetic pat and a squeeze. I attempted a smile for him. It looked like he was going to say something to me, but Haral spoke first.
“I hope that you have a restful night last night?” Haral asked.
I shrugged and attempted another smile. “I slept. I am fine.” Haral looked at me strangely, but didn’t say anything.
Breakfast was served then. Chef Ifon must have put his heart and soul into his food, because everything looked and smelled so good. There was a wonderful mushroom and vegetable omelet covered with cheese and avocado. There were toast triangles topped with chopped tomatoes, onions, spices and shrimp. There were dumplings filled with ground pork, garlic and ginger and covered with a wine and apricot sauce. Finally, there was a fruit medley with many different fruits of different colors and cut in various shapes and topped with chopped mint leaves. Everything was so delicious that I ate it hungrily. When I finished, I asked for seconds of everything. Chef Ifon brought it out to me personally. I complimented him on the meal as I dug into my second helpings. Halfway through, I noticed that both Piatrus and Haral were not eating, but rather they were watching me eat. Both of them looked somewhat stunned.
“What?” I asked. “Haven’t you seen a hungry woman before? I am eating for two, you know…”
Stunned and reproved, the men turned their attentions back to their own plates. But I could tell that they were both watching me surreptitiously. It was when I finished my second plate and asked for a third, that all conversation at the table came to an abrupt halt. I looked up to find everyone staring at me as if I had grown a second head.
I stood up and yelled at them, “Why are you all staring at me? I cannot stand being stared at so! All I wanted to do was eat in peace.” I threw my napkin down and ran out of the room. I only got as far as the family room, before I collapsed onto one of the couches and began to sob yet again.
Within a minute, Piatrus found me and knelt down on the floor, beside me. He didn’t say a word to me. He just knelt there and stroked my hair. When I was able to collect myself, I looked up and found him also weeping, but silently. It was as if we were bonding in our grief.
I broke the silence many minutes later. “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to take you from your meal. I really didn’t want to make such a scene. I don’t know why I did. I feel so out of control and helpless.”
Piatrus looked at me with care and said, “No. I wasn’t all that hungry myself. You didn’t make me do anything that I didn’t want to do anyway. I am sorry that the family makes you uncomfortable. I will talk with them later. We can’t have you getting so upset.”
“No. Don’t, Piatrus. It wasn’t their fault. They could have said something simple, like ‘The sun is hot today” and I would have exploded. The fault is mine. I need to learn how to control myself better. I don’t know how you do it. You always seem to be in control.”
“It isn’t something that I would recommend others to do. I have learned how to control myself, but at a large price. I have missed a lot of the joys of life because of it. And then, being so closed up, sometimes I explode at all the wrong times and in front of the wrong people. It is one of the prices one pays for such control. I would hate to see you change so radically. That isn’t the kind of person you are.”
“I suppose not. But I hate being so emotional in public.”
“I understand. You will find your own way in gaining control. My way is mine. You have to find your own path. To take someone else’s path would be wrong and it would change who you are.”
“I see.”
But before we could continue our conversation, we could hear a loud confrontation going on at the compound gates. The family in the dining room heard it also and was starting to go outside to see what was going on. Piatrus got up and went outside. Pretty soon, I could hear his voice added to the confrontation. He didn’t sound angry. He sounded in control as always. But whatever he was saying was making the other person furious.
Curiosity finally got the better of me and I got up and walked outside, joining the rest of the family in observation. I eventually ended up at Haral’s side and then noticed that the person who was creating all this commotion was Dashal, Donal’s father.
He looked very drunk, even though it was still fairly early in the morning. He was saying, “Donal was my son! I have every right to take charge of his funeral! I don’t want him to be buried in this ghod-forsaken country. I want to take his body home with me to Rawn-Devu. And that is what I am going to do!”
“Against the wishes of his wife and children?” asked Piatrus in a dangerously quiet voice.
“That whore? He committed suicide rather than stay married to ...”
He was unable to complete his sentence because Piatrus had grabbed him by the throat. He lifted his former son-in-law up with one hand and was choking him.
“Where did you hear this? Who told you this? It is untrue.”
“Brother! Don’t!” shouted Haral. “He isn’t worth it!”
“You are a disgusting pig,” declared Piatrus, dispassionately. He then threw Dashal to the ground.
Haral intervened between the two men. He looked down at Dashal and said, “Go back to wherever you are staying and sober up. Donal’s body hasn’t been released yet for the funeral. When it is, we will be holding it at the main Temple. Donal was not a suicide and he deserves a full Temple service. Check there for whenever it gets scheduled. Do not come back here and disturb the family’s grief. However, know this: you will have to be sober and respectful before you will be admitted to the funeral. And you will have to give a public apology to Lady Patra for your disrespectful words. Go now, before I change my mind about any of this.”
Haral grabbed Piatrus’ arm and pulled him back into the compound. He then signaled the guards to shut the gates, leaving Dashal sprawling in the road. A minute later, we heard the sound of a bottle breaking against the gates. We heard him screaming epithets as he staggered away.
Piatrus then noticed that I was shaking and crying once more. He quickly came to my side and held me up as he guided me back to the house.
For the rest of the day, there was someone always by my side, distracting me, chit-chatting about this and that, never leaving me alone.
Many notes were received from relatives and friends. Some were for me, most were for Piatrus and the family and concerned not only Donal but also Stevar and his family.
Later that afternoon, the Medical Examiner sent word that they were finished with Donal. Uncle Haral and Piatrus, along with Ferrell and several cousins, went to fetch his body and take it to the Temple for preparation. They would not allow me to go.
When they returned, Haral sat down with me and Piatrus to discuss Donal’s funeral and Stevar’s memorial. Piatrus decided that since Brian and Eoin would not be here for at least a week, the memorial for Stevar and his family would be postponed until his brothers could attend also.
It was decided that since Donal’s body would not wait that long, we would have his funeral in two days time. I wish that I could say that this was my decision, but I wasn’t capable of doing anything more than agreeing with what Haral and Piatrus suggested. I just couldn’t or wouldn’t make decisions about this because this would mean that Donal was actually dead and I wasn’t ready for reality at that time.
There would be a viewing of his body in the morning of that day, with the ceremony itself starting at noon.
I went to bed early because I had a bad migraine.
Our eggs:
§
§
§
§
§ 
Our hatchlings:
§
§
The next day, I was never left alone for even a minute. Not even when I wanted to use the privy. I suppose they were right. I wasn’t to be trusted. Thinking about it rationally, I must have imagined Donal’s presence in the studio. I began to wonder about myself and what was real and what was imagined. I didn’t want to become lost in my own world. I wanted to live life, not drift though it. But at the same time, I couldn’t see how I could move on without Donal by my side.
Ellyn and Mahli dressed me in another black dress, similar to the one from yesterday, but with a lower, sweetheart neckline, which made me somewhat uncomfortable. It also had no tippets. But I didn’t complain or raise a fuss. I had no energy to do so. Ellyn wanted to put a little rouge on my cheeks and powder on my face to cover my red puffiness, but it looked so awful that she washed it off when I asked her to do so. They did my hair up in the black hair net again.
Ellyn, afterwards, walked with me to the dining room, where the family was gathered for breakfast. I could feel all their eyes on me. I wanted the ground to open up underneath me and cover me up. I hated being stared at.
I was seated, this time, between Piatrus and Uncle Haral. Haral was looking his calm, collected self. Piatrus looked locked up and impassive, but I noticed that his eyes betrayed him. I could tell that underneath his granite exterior were pent up emotions that he tried to keep under control. I gave his hand a sympathetic pat and a squeeze. I attempted a smile for him. It looked like he was going to say something to me, but Haral spoke first.
“I hope that you have a restful night last night?” Haral asked.
I shrugged and attempted another smile. “I slept. I am fine.” Haral looked at me strangely, but didn’t say anything.
Breakfast was served then. Chef Ifon must have put his heart and soul into his food, because everything looked and smelled so good. There was a wonderful mushroom and vegetable omelet covered with cheese and avocado. There were toast triangles topped with chopped tomatoes, onions, spices and shrimp. There were dumplings filled with ground pork, garlic and ginger and covered with a wine and apricot sauce. Finally, there was a fruit medley with many different fruits of different colors and cut in various shapes and topped with chopped mint leaves. Everything was so delicious that I ate it hungrily. When I finished, I asked for seconds of everything. Chef Ifon brought it out to me personally. I complimented him on the meal as I dug into my second helpings. Halfway through, I noticed that both Piatrus and Haral were not eating, but rather they were watching me eat. Both of them looked somewhat stunned.
“What?” I asked. “Haven’t you seen a hungry woman before? I am eating for two, you know…”
Stunned and reproved, the men turned their attentions back to their own plates. But I could tell that they were both watching me surreptitiously. It was when I finished my second plate and asked for a third, that all conversation at the table came to an abrupt halt. I looked up to find everyone staring at me as if I had grown a second head.
I stood up and yelled at them, “Why are you all staring at me? I cannot stand being stared at so! All I wanted to do was eat in peace.” I threw my napkin down and ran out of the room. I only got as far as the family room, before I collapsed onto one of the couches and began to sob yet again.
Within a minute, Piatrus found me and knelt down on the floor, beside me. He didn’t say a word to me. He just knelt there and stroked my hair. When I was able to collect myself, I looked up and found him also weeping, but silently. It was as if we were bonding in our grief.
I broke the silence many minutes later. “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to take you from your meal. I really didn’t want to make such a scene. I don’t know why I did. I feel so out of control and helpless.”
Piatrus looked at me with care and said, “No. I wasn’t all that hungry myself. You didn’t make me do anything that I didn’t want to do anyway. I am sorry that the family makes you uncomfortable. I will talk with them later. We can’t have you getting so upset.”
“No. Don’t, Piatrus. It wasn’t their fault. They could have said something simple, like ‘The sun is hot today” and I would have exploded. The fault is mine. I need to learn how to control myself better. I don’t know how you do it. You always seem to be in control.”
“It isn’t something that I would recommend others to do. I have learned how to control myself, but at a large price. I have missed a lot of the joys of life because of it. And then, being so closed up, sometimes I explode at all the wrong times and in front of the wrong people. It is one of the prices one pays for such control. I would hate to see you change so radically. That isn’t the kind of person you are.”
“I suppose not. But I hate being so emotional in public.”
“I understand. You will find your own way in gaining control. My way is mine. You have to find your own path. To take someone else’s path would be wrong and it would change who you are.”
“I see.”
But before we could continue our conversation, we could hear a loud confrontation going on at the compound gates. The family in the dining room heard it also and was starting to go outside to see what was going on. Piatrus got up and went outside. Pretty soon, I could hear his voice added to the confrontation. He didn’t sound angry. He sounded in control as always. But whatever he was saying was making the other person furious.
Curiosity finally got the better of me and I got up and walked outside, joining the rest of the family in observation. I eventually ended up at Haral’s side and then noticed that the person who was creating all this commotion was Dashal, Donal’s father.
He looked very drunk, even though it was still fairly early in the morning. He was saying, “Donal was my son! I have every right to take charge of his funeral! I don’t want him to be buried in this ghod-forsaken country. I want to take his body home with me to Rawn-Devu. And that is what I am going to do!”
“Against the wishes of his wife and children?” asked Piatrus in a dangerously quiet voice.
“That whore? He committed suicide rather than stay married to ...”
He was unable to complete his sentence because Piatrus had grabbed him by the throat. He lifted his former son-in-law up with one hand and was choking him.
“Where did you hear this? Who told you this? It is untrue.”
“Brother! Don’t!” shouted Haral. “He isn’t worth it!”
“You are a disgusting pig,” declared Piatrus, dispassionately. He then threw Dashal to the ground.
Haral intervened between the two men. He looked down at Dashal and said, “Go back to wherever you are staying and sober up. Donal’s body hasn’t been released yet for the funeral. When it is, we will be holding it at the main Temple. Donal was not a suicide and he deserves a full Temple service. Check there for whenever it gets scheduled. Do not come back here and disturb the family’s grief. However, know this: you will have to be sober and respectful before you will be admitted to the funeral. And you will have to give a public apology to Lady Patra for your disrespectful words. Go now, before I change my mind about any of this.”
Haral grabbed Piatrus’ arm and pulled him back into the compound. He then signaled the guards to shut the gates, leaving Dashal sprawling in the road. A minute later, we heard the sound of a bottle breaking against the gates. We heard him screaming epithets as he staggered away.
Piatrus then noticed that I was shaking and crying once more. He quickly came to my side and held me up as he guided me back to the house.
For the rest of the day, there was someone always by my side, distracting me, chit-chatting about this and that, never leaving me alone.
Many notes were received from relatives and friends. Some were for me, most were for Piatrus and the family and concerned not only Donal but also Stevar and his family.
Later that afternoon, the Medical Examiner sent word that they were finished with Donal. Uncle Haral and Piatrus, along with Ferrell and several cousins, went to fetch his body and take it to the Temple for preparation. They would not allow me to go.
When they returned, Haral sat down with me and Piatrus to discuss Donal’s funeral and Stevar’s memorial. Piatrus decided that since Brian and Eoin would not be here for at least a week, the memorial for Stevar and his family would be postponed until his brothers could attend also.
It was decided that since Donal’s body would not wait that long, we would have his funeral in two days time. I wish that I could say that this was my decision, but I wasn’t capable of doing anything more than agreeing with what Haral and Piatrus suggested. I just couldn’t or wouldn’t make decisions about this because this would mean that Donal was actually dead and I wasn’t ready for reality at that time.
There would be a viewing of his body in the morning of that day, with the ceremony itself starting at noon.
I went to bed early because I had a bad migraine.
no subject
Date: 2009-07-18 07:32 pm (UTC)