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Listmania: TEN VAMPIRES THAT DON'T SUCK
Angel, Spike, Dracula, Nosferatu, Selene, Mick St. John and more make our favorite blood suckers of all time

By PETER BROWN, Associate Editor

With the cancellation of MOONLIGHT by CBS (granted with a chance for the show to come back on The CW), we here at iF Magazine thought it would be a good chance to look at the best vampires of all time. These aren't the just run-of-the-mill vamps that are plastered across Hollywood but the cream of the crop. Those that stand above the multitude of vampires that have appeared on numerous mediums - TV, DVD or film. ...


10) MARTIN MADAHAS

(c) 2000 Libra Films
Released: 1977
Where from: MARTIN
Played by: John Amplas
Why he doesn’t suck: Martin isn’t a vampire, but he thinks he is and so he acts exactly like a vampire and is hated by his family because of it. His uncle tries to save his soul but Martin has other ideas using razor blades instead of fangs and feasting on humans in the night. Inventive and altogether creepy, George A. Romero did for vampires what he did for zombies with the character of Martin.


9) SPACE GIRL

(c) 2000 Tri-Star
Released: 1985
Where from: LIFEFORCE
Played by: Mathilda May
Why she doesn’t suck: Well she spends the entire movie completely freaking naked. That’s always a big, big, big, ginormous plus. Also, she is a space vampire and sucks the soul (or LIFEFORCE) from humans leaving them an empty shell and turning them into another vampire that sucks the lifeforce from another human. The movie is stuck in the '80s yes, but it still holds up quite well for the time. Did I mention she’s naked most of the movie?


8) KURT BARLOW

(c) 2000 Warner Bros.
Released: 1979
Where from: SALEM’S LOT
Played by: Reggie Nalder
Why he doesn’t suck: Barlow is one of the most hideous and tarrying vampires since the old school vamps that started it all off a disgusting parasite with long bony fingers, rat-like teeth and red sunken eyes. His presence makes the whole film worth it even if Stephen King wasn’t a big fan of this version – which remains the best regardless of who has remade it.


7) DAVID

(c) 2000 Warner Bros
Released: 1987
Where from: THE LOST BOYS
Played by: Kiefer Sutherland
Why he doesn’t suck: Back in the 1980s, David was cool. Everyone wanted to be the flying vampire that stalks beach goers and eats them for a midnight snack. Before he was Jack Bauer, Kiefer Sutherland ruled the '80s with numerous movies that struck a chord with many fans. Plus that whole bleach-blonde haired with fans and red eyes trick never gets old.


6) MICK ST. JOHN

(c) 2008 CBS
Aired: 2007/2008
Where from: MOONLIGHT
Played by: Alex O’Loughlin
Why he doesn’t suck: He can tolerate sunlight (mostly), he sleeps in a freezer instead of a coffin (to preserve himself for posterity and so he won’t stink), he works with a society of vampires that either do not feed on humans and work in civil service for the most part. And for an undead guy, he sure gets the hot ladies … damn I might turn vamp just to get some of the chicks he’s nailing.


5) SELENE

(c) 2006 Screen Gems
Released: 2003
Where from: UNDERWORLD
Played by: Kate Beckinsale
Why she doesn’t suck: Kate Beckinsale in skin tight head to toe black leather? Yes, please. Plus, she kicks ass, doesn’t take sh** from no one and does what she wants for the best of herself and damn everyone else. If I had my druthers I’d get eaten by Selene when the vamps inherit the Earth. Did I mention she's in skin-tight black leather the entire movie?


4) SPIKE

(c) 2000 Warner Bros.
Aired: 1997-2003
Where from: BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
Played by: James Marsters
Why he doesn’t suck: The perennial bad guy vampire that was the nemesis of Buffy and Angel turns into a good guy helping the Scoobie gang fight the good fight. The cool thing about Spike was that he was just cool, the guy everyone wanted to be even though he was evil and did a slew of dastardly deeds. Plus, he always seemed to escape death – from Buffy’s stake, to hot magma to name it. He’s a survivor.


3) ANGEL

(c) 2000 Warner Bros
Aired: 1997-2004
Where from: BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER and ANGEL
Played by: David Boreanaz
Why he doesn’t suck: He’s the vampire with a soul. What’s not to like. He’s a good vampire that always toes the line between his good side and his bad vampire side that is everything the opposite of what Angel is. The best part about Angel is he gets the girl. He’s the boyfriend of a vampire slayer and is a vampire – it is the ultimate irony and is why he is cool.


2) NOSFERATU

(c) 2007 Kino Video

Aired: 1922
Where from: NOSFERATU
Played by: Max Schreck
Why he doesn’t suck: Max Schreck began this whole fascination with vamps and movies giving us one nasty creature that is hard to believe was created in 1922. The best thing is that it is a silent film and the creators were able to still make it damn scary without dialogue or fancy sound effects that are used today. It all had to do with Schreck’s ability to present one freaking nasty creature and the fact we had seen nothing like it before.


1) DRACULA

(c) 2008 Sony Pictures Home Entertainment
Aired: 1931, 1958 and 1992
Where from: DRACULA and BRAM STOKER’S DRACULA
Played by: Bela Lugosi, Christopher Lee and Gary Oldman
Why he doesn’t suck: The original DRACULA and the first remake from 1958 still exists as the standard from which so many other vampire movies, TV, books, comics and lore have borrowed from. That alone is cool enough to make the list as No. 1. But above all else when you think vampires, you think ole Dracula.

Honorable mentions:

NICHOLAS ‘NICK’ KNIGHT
Aired: 1989-1996
Where from: FOREVER KNIGHT
Played by: Geraint Wyn Davies
Why he doesn’t suck: Before Mick St. John from MOONLIGHT did it, Nick Knight was the age old vampire that worked as a detective. Knight was a great character because they built this whole mythology surrounding his character and that of Lacroix, the vampire that bit him hundreds of years ago.

CLAUDIA
Aired: 1994
Where from: INTERVIEW WITH A VAMPIRE
Played by: Kirsten Dunst
Why she doesn’t suck: Given Dunst was just 12-years-old when she did this film, no one knew how good of an actress she would become. Plus, Claudia is by far the best part of this movie finally given Lestat his just deserves splitting him open and leaving him to bleed to death (if a vampire can do that). Add to this she has probably one of the best deaths of a vampire filmed, what’s not to like.

http://www.ifmagazine.com/feature.asp?article=2800