Plot Bunny, Part 1

[barkinmad.livejournal.com]

Title:Plot Bunny
Author:sitrow or barkinmad
Rating: PG (sorry guys, I'm tame)
Pairing: Sam and Dean
Disclaimer: Although I wouldn't mind having a bunny as a pet, I think Dean would be a little to much to handle. Therefore, I own neither Dean nor Sam (though I wish!) nor anything affiliated with Supernatural, Donnie Darko, or Heroes.
Description: Bunny!Dean, so crack!
Author Notes: Inspired by a conversation I had with evolia. The first crack!idea I've ever come up with, and it's all thanks to her :).
I have to admit, this section is pretty lax, but I think the next section gets a lot more interesting. XD


Well, this is freakin' great,Dean thought, as his hands-paws-whatever held on tightly to Sam’s cuff. The last time he'd felt so insecure, his dad had waved a gun around over his head trying to ward off a poltegeist at the age of five. Sammy was too young to remember, and Dean certainly wasn't going to give him an encore. But, he hated being this close to the ground, and hated the fact that when he sat down, he now had to check where his tail was so he didn't sit on it. It was a little too much for a guy to handle. He also hated that he was about two feet tall and moving at a rapid pace down a busy sidewalk where people couldn't see him. He couldn’t understand why Sam couldn’t just carry him.

“Because I’m allergic to bunnies,” Sam had said, holding back yet another sneeze.

“I’m not a bunny, I’m not a rabbit” Dean had insisted. “And I can talk right? I mean, I’m not completely a rabbit, so you must not be allergic to me.”

Sam had sneezed in response.

“Fine.”

“Hey, if I get allergic to you, that means a trip to the hospital. And I don’t think they allow bunnies in the emergency room.”

Sam turned and stepped out onto a crosswalk. Dean clung for dear life when he heard the roar of the engines around him and when he looked up, a car was headed straight for the space in front of Sam. Damn him for jaywalking. Dean tried to ease off but then another vehicle whizzed past and for the first time in Dean’s life, he realized that he had a huge loathing of cars. When he turned back into a human, he was going to erase every single second of this from his brain. Especially the white and fluffy part.

********

Sam came out on the other side of the crosswalk and stopped right before the sidewalk hit the grass. In front of him was a small park, which he had MapQuested. In the far back right of the area was a kids playground, with monkey bars and one of those whirly things that used to make Sam sick and dizzy because Dean insisted on top speed. To the left was a small copse of trees that provided shade, though there weren’t enough of them for it to be considered dense in any way. The rest was short grass, running all the way up the soft curves of the ground to where Sam’s feet stood.

Sam made his way toward the trees, and when he got under the shade he gently shook Dean off his leg. Okay, maybe he kicked a little, but Dean had been holding on tight. When he saw the claw marks on his pants leg he sighed. Another nice pair of pants ruined. The sad thing was that he would probably still be wearing them five years from now.

He sat down and took out the carrot he had bought at the pet store, the Sudafed he’d bought at the drug store, and the personal pizza he’d bought at Pizza Hut. Then he quickly scooted away from Dean to medicate himself.

Dean looked down at the carrot and sniffed and wrinkled his nose. Sam thought he was getting particularly good at it, since it was his new favorite expression.

“I don't like carrots."

“What?” Sam asked, inching back over carefully. He took a sniff, waited a second, and sighed.

“I don’t want the carrot.”

“I thought bun-rabbits lived off of carrots?”

“Well, apparently I'm not a rabbit, remember? I want pizza."

“Dean, I can’t give you pizza! PETA’ll be all over my ass.”

“But I’m hungry!... couldn’t you just give me crust?”

Sam sighed and tossed over one of the remains of his pie. Dean started into it, but apparently he refused to acknowledge that he was no longer human, so Sam had to laugh when Dean’s two front teeth got stuck. Sam watched Dean nibble for a bit, and after he was done, Dean hopped into Sam’s lap for a little grooming.

Suddenly, Sam had an idea.

“Hey, Dean, do you watch Heroes?”

“What’s that?” Dean asked, stretching out over Sammy’s long legs.

“It’s this show. Anyway, there was this whole thing where two characters found out they were related, but they still have feelings for each other.”

“That’s incest, Sammy, that’s sick.” Sam glared, and Dean stared down at the place where his crust used to be and wrinkled his nose again.

“So, a bunch of people are trying to work their way around it, and I just figured out that if the mom had been with someone else, then there’s no concrete evidence that Nathan is Claire’s father.”

“Who’re Nathan and Claire?”

“Never mind,” Sam sighed. But the idea was too good to pass up. He hadn’t thought about the show for weeks, since they’d been on the road for a while, but one of his LJ friends had asked for prompts, and he finally had something to contribute. In fact, he could probably write the story himself. Sam had never been particularly creative, but all of the sudden a bunch of dots were connecting in his head.

How would Claire find out about her real father? He would come to her in New York.

What would she say to Peter? Nothing. She wouldn’t tell him for a while because she’s too scared because he would consider it just another teenage crush. He’d have to go to her.

How would he do that? It would have to be after something traumatic. Maybe something that happened between them and Sylar. Like Sylar came after Claire a second time. But this time, everyone helps…maybe even Nathan because he still thinks that he’s her father.

All these ideas flooded and swam around in his head until Sam couldn’t take it anymore and got out one of his journals and started scribbling furiously. Dean hopped on Sam’s leg to get his attention. He wasn’t sure how many emotions bunnies could express with their faces, but he was pretty sure that this one was shock.

“What are you doing?”

“Writing?”

“You have a writing journal?” Dean asked, taking little hops up Sam’s leg until he was resting between the cave of Sam’s stomach and thigh, facing toward the paper.

“Well, no,” Sam said, speaking into Dean’s tail. His eyes itched again. Oh great. He pushed Dean off and reached into his bag for more allergy medicine, which to him at this point was god’s greatest invention.

He turned around and found Dean’s body leaning into the ground, his head nearly covered completely by the grass.

“Dean!”

Dean looked up, little tufts of grass still in his mouth.

“Human tastes, huh?”

“Well…I…just wanted to try it."

Sam rested back against the tree and went back to writing, except…he couldn’t remember what the rest of the sentence was supposed to say. He figured he could get back to it later, but all of the sudden the story didn’t make sense to him anymore. He had gotten into a rut in the first five minutes of his writing career.

He looked over at Dean, who was huddled in the trunk of a nearby tree. “Do you want to go somewhere else?” He asked. He was getting sick of the fresh air and the warm breeze. Plus, they should really be focusing on turning Dean back into a human. He was getting more bunny-like by the second.

“Sure. Where?”

“I dunno,” Sam stood up and picked Dean up. At least there wouldn’t be any more rips in his jeans. Then, everything came flooding back to him. He nearly dropped Dean from the sheer brilliance that had just popped into his head. He had already put away his paper and pen, but a bunnies’ memory was supposed to be good, right?

“Hey, Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“Remember two words for me, would ya? Donnie Darko?”

“Okay…huh?”

Then again, maybe those were elephants.