fandomania | The Adventure continues...

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The next week, once the aftermath of the weddings was cleaned up and removed, everything went back to its normal routine. Yes, several members of the family teased Donal and me about our ‘drunken’ horseplay, but other than that, everyone treated us the same as usual. Even Pahpey asked them what had happened; casually mentioning that he had gone to bed early and had missed seeing us. His behavior towards me was, as usual, gentlemanly and affectionate. I decided that Donal was correct about my imagination.

Donal, on the other hand, started acting pre-occupied and somewhat distant. Several times, when I was feeling very good about myself, I tried to initiate love making, but Donal wasn’t paying attention and didn’t even notice my attempts. Something was going on with him. I needed to get him to open up and share whatever the problem was. So I decided to beard the beast in his lair, so to speak, or rather, his studio.

I tried not to invade his studio too often. I knew he needed to concentrate without interruption. Otherwise, I only went there by invitation or when crisis dictated it. This may not have been a true crisis, but I felt sure that it might turn into one, if I ignored it too long.

Taking a deep breath, I walked into the studio. Even before I entered, I could hear the ‘tink-tink-tink’ of his chisel carving into the marble. He was concentrating so completely that he didn’t notice my entry. My nerve began to falter and I decided to wait for him to take a break rather than demanding his attention. Unfortunately, Donal didn’t have any chairs in the studio because he didn’t want to encourage his very garrulous family into constantly dropping in on him to chat. I looked around and found a wooden box that seemed sturdy enough to support my weight and then sat down. It was low to the ground, so the only really comfortable position was with my knees drawn up to my chest and my arms encircling my calves. I watched him work. It was a commission for some nobleman who wished to pass his likeness on down to his descendants. It looked, to me, like it was almost done.

It took Donal forty-five minutes to notice my presence. Even then, he somehow was inspired by my pose and wanted to sketch it so that he could use it for the future. He wouldn’t let me talk or move until he was satisfied with his sketch. These were the joys of being an artist’s wife and muse.

When he finished, he finally asked, “What is it that you want to tell me, love?”

“I don’t want to tell you anything, sweeting. I think that we need to talk. You have been very quiet and rather distant to me lately. Is something wrong? Have I done something to upset you? Please tell me? Please talk to me? Let me help you?”

Donal looked perplexed and indecisive. He looked away for a moment and then walked over to me and knelt in front of me, taking my hands into his.

“Something you said the other night struck a sore spot with me, love.” When he saw the rueful look on my face, he quickly added, “It is nothing about you, love. It is about something that happened before we met.

“When you asked me to put myself in Armand’s place, when he wanted to see Yusaf, that struck me very hard. I have never really talked to you about what happened to me during the years that I was enslaved. You know about the surface things, but not the very hurtful and humiliating parts. Just as you haven’t shared the painful parts of your experience, neither have I. I haven’t pushed you nor asked you to, because I know how bad it can get. Since I wasn’t ready to share, how could I expect you to do so either?”

Donal sighed and fidgeted a bit. He then continued, “Old Man Baskin was a married man. He was an old man who married later in life than most men did. He was seventy-eight when he purchased me. His wife was fifty and they had a daughter who was thirty-four. There may have been other children, but they never visited while I was with them. Riesel, and her daughter, Silpa, may have looked like normal women at first glance, but deep down inside, they were ugly, hateful women. They hated everyone and everything. They never could say a nice word to anyone nor do a kind deed. They felt like the world owed them something and that they were better than everyone else. Consequently, any man, who came around the shop with the possible intent on courting Silpa, ran away quickly when they got to know her. Her father was too big of a cheapskate to offer a large enough dowry to lure even mercenary suitors to her.

“From what I gathered over the years, it was Riesel who chose me from the auction. Once her husband finished training me as his helper in the business, Riesel then started in on me. Touching me intimately. Showing me her naked body. And outright ordering me to have sex with her. Her daughter treated me just the same. I found neither of them attractive and when they ordered me to perform, I just couldn’t. Nothing that they did or said or touched made any difference. They ridiculed me endlessly afterwards. Then one day, one of them had an idea. They ordered me to make up an aphrodisiac potion and then forced me to drink it. It worked only too well. With this potion, they took turns using me constantly for over a year. During that time, Silpa conceived my child. That was when Baskin discovered what they were doing to me and put an end to it. My son, Maxel, was born about a year before you and I met. I had put Maxel out of my mind because of the disgust that I had for his mother and grandparents.

“When you asked me that question the other day, it brought up a myriad of bad memories and guilt. Guilt because I essentially abandoned my child to that horror of a family. I have been trying to decide what to do. Do I continue to ignore the fact of his existence? Do I try to go find him and find a way to be part of his life? I don’t know what to do. My son should be four by now”

“Do what your heart tells you to do. That is what my grandmother always told me. If you go, may I come with you?” I said quietly.

“Thank you, love. Your support means a lot to me. But, no, you cannot come with me. This being already summer, although early summer, I would need to get through the North Lag Pass quickly and be back before it starts to snow in the fall. Your pregnancy will impede my speed. Also, I don’t want to risk you going anywhere near Riverford. I am sure that there still is a warrant out for your arrest. I am sorry, love, but I cannot take you with me. I am thinking about going with others. Perhaps Uncle Eoin and Cousin Willy. Or Cousin Hanso …”

“I see…” I replied.

“Do you, love? Do you really? I hope that you aren’t just saying this because you think this is what I want to hear? I need your honest opinion and your total support. Can you do this for me, love?”

I looked down towards my hands for a long time. I sorted through the options and weighed my words. I made my decision and looked up at my husband and said, “Yes. I can do this. I understand what you need to do and I honor you for wanting to do this. It won’t be easy. But, yes, you do have to try. I will be here, waiting and praying for your return.” I leaned forward and hugged Donal and then kissed him.

Donal sigh. “That is a big weight off my shoulders.”

“When do you think you will leave?”

“If I work all night, I can have this commission finished tomorrow. I can have Pahpey ship it to the patron. It has already been paid for in advance, so all it will need is delivery.

“Then I need to talk to Eoin and the others to see if they are willing. If they are, then I will need to get supplies together and equipment. I would think that two day would be sufficient for that.”

“That soon?” I sighed.

“Yes, love, it has to be soon or it has to be put off for another year. It is either going through North Lag Pass or going through Freedonia, and, as far as I am concerned, going through Freedonia would be suicidal.”

“All right.” I replied. “How long do you think it will take?”

“Hopefully, no more than two months. With the pass being unusable after the first snowfall, we have to get back through there before that happens. Going by horseback will speed up the journey considerably, but it still is a ways away.”

“I understand.” I got up. “Since you need to finish this piece before you can go, I should leave and let you do so.”

But before I could leave, Donal took me into his arms and kissed me thoroughly and passionately. So thoroughly, my knees wobbled as I walked out of the studio.

The next two days were incredibly busy for Donal. Uncle Eoin and four of Donal’s cousins agreed to go with him. Getting the supplies and equipment, choosing the right horses which had both speed and stamina, deciding on which route would be fastest and safest. I barely saw him, except when he was asleep in bed. I also heard him having several arguments with Pahpey over abandoning his responsibilities for a pipedream. Pahpey practically ordered him not to go. But Donal was stubborn and continued on with his plans.

The night before they left, once everything was all packed and ready to go, Donal waylaid me early and took me to bed with him. We spent half that night making tender sweet love.

Dawn came entirely too soon for me. Donal tried to get out of bed without waking me, but I had not slept at all. I tried to put on a brave face as I kissed him farewell and watched him ride away south. When I could no longer see him, I broke down and cried. Pahpey, who had been standing with me, put his arms around me and comforted me as I sobbed into his chest. When I noticed his awkwardness over my emotional display, I apologized and then went to the chapel that the family maintained. I neglected my duties for that morning and spend hours there praying for Donal’s safety.