Crack For Cain 14/?

[transgenic-girl.livejournal.com]

Title: Crack For Cain
Characters/Pairings: Wyatt Cain, the Ladies, Jeb Cain, a PR secretary and Sergeant Dave Patterson.
Author: transgenic_girl
Rated: PG
Spoilers/Warnings: Post series, so just have it all spoiled.
Summary: Chapter Fourteen. Otherwise known as the reminding us all where everyone is. And what’s going on.
Disclaimer: Tin Man belongs originally to Frank Baum, modified by Sci Fi (as well as just about everyone else). I'm just following their examples and playing in the O.Z.

A/N: Yes, I know. This has been supremely slow in coming. And then I sat down (remembering Erin's last pm) and wrote it all in half an hour. Sometimes the muse is a brat that way. And I throw myself on the mercy of the court. Offering myself up to be punished...as long as it's a Cain doing the punishing ::wink::

There is a special breed of female that someone unknowingly set upon the world, long long ago. It is said that these femme mystiques were created in the dead of night, just a heartbeat after the first painting of crushed berries and flowering plant petals upon stone walls. And for thousands of years in its wake, these oh so very dangerous females, both ingénue and inamorata, have walked the Earth and driven fear into the hearts of many.

And hands into the pants of many as well.

This naughty feminine creature is called the...fangirl. And she is to be feared. Or lusted after. Either or. They’re not picky.

Captain Wyatt Cain of the Royal Guard of the House of Gale, had no freaking idea what he had gotten himself into. For, it is sad (for him), to say, he had become the target of their most widespread and vile conspiracies.

Matchmaking.
Currently his foes laid in wait for his waking from his drunken stupor of a sleep. A state three had ‘helped’ along, with the help of his immediate subordinate and a friendly public relations secretary, by gifting the blonde man with a very special bottle of Munchkin Moonshine. Of course, they had not quite calculated the potency of the liquor and even they were surprised at what a bottle of it could do to even the most hardened of former Tin Men.

Yes, all five conspirators giggled madly when one mentioned the word ‘hard.’

Well, the foes did not so much lie in wait, as go about their daily business with songs in their hearts and smiles on their respective faces.

The Captain’s right hand man was busy training on the obstacle course with the men, bursting with flavorful innuendo, in between covering for his boss. Dave turned to the man beside him, “Did I ever tell you about a girl named after a flower and a doctor without a license?”

The P.R. secretary was busily undressing a visiting noble from Merryland, sadly only with her eyes, in between doodling on a pad of paper beside her. The meeting she was in was rather boring, even for the meetings of nobility. Water rights was always such a joyous topic for discussion, yay. If one were to catch a peek at her current page, they would be able to clearly see the words, “Mercenary + Moonbrain.”

Elsewhere in the Palace, was another of the most egregious offenders ever to wear the title of...of...fangirl. At first glance, she appeared to be quite docile and not of the dangerous kind at all. But if one were to draw such a conclusion, they would be horribly and irrevocably wrong. Yet still, she sat in a comfy chair, humming to herself quietly and reading a tome entitled not so simply as, “The Bro Code: Barney Stinson.” Her humming broken up by stifled laughter.

Swirling her paintbrush delicately across a heavy sheet of paper, the watercolors dancing brilliantly to follow the young woman’s command, another offender happily painted out in the sunshine. Then, giving the guard stationed nearby a sly look, she spoke. “You know Dean, you do look an awful lot like this actor we have back home.” The young man, one she had spent a significant amount of time near over the past several days grinned in response. “Oh?”

And finally, tucked away in the little, but functional, kitchen in the guard quarters, the last (but hopefully not least) fangirl happily stirred a pan of scrambled eggs. A blonde young man only a couple annuals older leaned against a nearby counter, flashing her a grateful, and rare, smile when she served the eggs onto two plates. She opened her mouth to speak, beaming happily under his attention, only for her words to be cut off by the door slamming open.

She took one look at the furious figure in the doorway, and made a squeak of a sound, hiding behind her companion.

Jeb Cain looked curiously over at his father, pausing only to send a look back at the girl standing behind him. “Morning father. I take it you didn’t sleep well?”

And, ever the fangirl, the curvy brunette behind him did not manage to resist the urge to let her hands wander a bit. Even in the face of the danger that was a supremely pissed of Wyatt Cain. Hey, if you’ve gotta go out, might as well go out doing what you love. Right?