Sam Spam

Apr. 22nd, 2007 04:34 pm
[identity profile] barkinmad.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] fandomania
I wanted to procrastinate today, and procrastinate I did; I feel it was a very productive morning XD

NOT dial-up friendly.


The Bitchface: An In-Depth Look At the Evolution of a Facial Masterpiece or The "just because he has a bitchface doesn't mean that we can't still love him" Sam Spam

Screencaps are from Striped Wall and Oxoniensis Art!

The road to the perfect bitchface is long and arduous. It takes months, maybe years, to purse your lips to the right degree, scrunch up your nose just right, and heavens knows how many ways you can screw up the eyes. But, folks, on man has accomplished this goal, and that man is Sam Winchester. In the following presentation, I will take you step by step through the phases of Sam's development, but as the process takes so much time, it's necessary to split it up by seasons. Here is Season One. Enjoy. Oh, and bring your drool bags XD.

Here we have the first evidence of the bitchface. It's very underdeveloped, but there is a faint trace around the lips.

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Here we get a more aggressive bitchface, although it's all in good fun.

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Hee! Look at the way his hair flips!
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Notice the emphasis on the mouth. He's obviously trying to get this expression down one facial part at a time..

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A much more mean-spirited bitchface. This shows the advancement of one of the two bitchface eyes. These are downcast and slightly emo to create the puppydog!bitchface effect.

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Ah, here we have the infamous lip purse in it's elementary stage. Notice the affect it has on the jaw lines..
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I just added this because it was funny...
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Finally able to get good lighting, we are able to see his lips in full, glorious color, paired with his eyes and..
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was I saying something?

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No, I don't believe I was.

We now get to see a darker side of the bitchface, complete with shadowing so it's almost impossible to tell the difference between his hair and his face.
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Now we can get to the angry bitchface. Notice how the eyes are looking directly forward and the jaw is firmly set..oh, is that drool? Sorry.
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We'll be seeing a lot more of this guy XD

'Nother funny one.
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Bitchface: Armed and Dangerous
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More of the angry bitchface, in full lighting this time. This time, the eyes seem a little less emo than before.
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Disregarding the bad lighting, notice how the dimples are slowly being incorporated into the bitchface. This union is considered to be the holiest matrimony in the universe.
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As you can see, the nose is now getting involved. Soon, these three elements will be integrated into one.
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This bitchface has more than a little emo in it, but it is a bitchface all the same.
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More dimples, and the eyes have sort of kicked in as well.
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This bitchface is an example of the versatility of the expression. It's not used in pure anger or grief, but annoyance.
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Not many can pull of an open-mouthed bitchface, but Sam can.
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A bitchface isn't a bitchface unless you can tell it's one by a profile.
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Bitchface can see you.
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And it's not happy. But note: the use of jaw in the role.
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But now we're back to basics for an emo bitchface.
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Survival of the Fittest: Only the strongest bitchface can survive.
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Intermission: Here's some random generic bitchface seen throughout the season.

*music plays*
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*music stops*

Oh, I'm back on? No, I'm fine, I'm fine, I can get up. I just fainted is all. Ten times. No big deal.

ANYway, back to bitchface.

This bitchface sees the beautiful integration of dimples, pursed lips, and an attempted smile. It's a thing of real beauty.
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This bitchface makes use of the neck. Hopefully there'll be many, many, MANY more of these types of bitchfaces to come.
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A rare and valuable capture of the full-fledges bitchface.
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Bitchface: Armed, Dangerous and Bleeding Blood
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Hee!It looks like he's wearing lipstick!
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Oooh, this bitchface is angry.
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Although the evidence is a bit hazy, it is rumored that Sam's bitchface can travel to you via phone.
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Now, that we can see clearly, we can conclude that yes, yes it can.
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This is another example of a full-fledged bitchface, especially the angry one. Notice the side-glancing eyes. Our boy has almost perfected his technique right now.
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Oh! And the emo bitchface is almost done as well. How wonderful (for US!)
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Okay, I'm all for Sammy's Emo Mop of Doom. Seriously, I am..but this is just ridiculous.
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He's scared..and yet it's still a bitchface.
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The bitchface that only John Winchester deserves.
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Funny picture!
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But now we're back to seriousness.
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Funny AND a bitchface..two in one!
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But that got Sam (and his bitchface) pissed off a bit..
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His eyebrows have really decided to kick in now.
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So little facial expression, yet it says so much.
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I really only put this in here for the greyhound XD
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Hee!
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Bitchface gets down to business.
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Again, use of dimples..MAGNIFICENT.
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Don't bitchface and drive, folks.
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Bring it on, AssDaddy.
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The bitchface is getting very refined.
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Possibly noble, even,
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I can't believe it's not bitchface!
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One more emo bitchface...
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One more angry bitchface...
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And we're done with season one.

BUT, can I just tell you that this picture is my new favorite picture of ALL FREAKIN' TIME?

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Just...just....guh. *drops*

(deleted comment)

Date: 2007-04-23 02:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tinitrinity.livejournal.com
Yay for Sammy and his amazing bitchface. ^_^

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